Burford Designs

7 Telltale Signs It's Time to Get Over Yourself and Get Support

by Christine Kane
Way back when I had a lawn, I used to mow it myself. I was a tried-and-true DIY gal. I prided myself on it.

Only problem?

I freakin' couldn't stand mowing the lawn. I dreaded it all week. Even though I was happy once it was finished, I started dreading it again the very next day!

At that time, I was starting to uplevel my life and business. I began seeing my time differently. I realized that the simple act of writing a song like "Right Outta Nowhere" could pay me - in the long run - WAY more than the money I saved by mowing my own lawn.

In other words, I learned how to value my work. I learned to act on that value. Was it scary? Yes. But when I finally hired someone to mow my lawn every week, I learned all about success and the value of my time. In other words, I got over myself and my fear of lack.

These days I've taken it to a much bigger level, and I have a full-time team working for me.

I now teach my clients new ways of valuing their time as they expand into more success in their own lives. They always end up realizing the ROI (Return On Investment) of getting help!

Here are 7 telltale signs that it might be time for you to get some support, too...

1 - You don't have enough time to do the thing you're best at.

What are you good at? What do you want to be good at? How much time do you actually spend doing that thing?

If you're running around getting menial tasks done - and you have no time to pursue your passion, or engage in your high-pay-off, high-delight activities - then ask yourself why.

Even if you let go of one item (like cleaning your house) you're telling the Universe the value of your time. (And you know what? The Universe always says Yes.)

2 - You resent people who don't struggle.

This is a big one.

If you hold resentment for people who live life with joy, ease and success, this could be a sign that you are waiting for rescue. That just leads to more struggle.

Only YOU are in charge of whether or not you struggle. Rescue yourself and learn what true empowerment feels like.

3 - You're worried about the economy.

Waiting for the economy to get better before you'll hire someone? Why not become a part of the solution and use your money to improve the economy?

While everyone else is pulling back and firing people - you can experience what it's like to be the change you wish to see in the world!

4 - No one can do it as good as you

If you just shouted "Amen Sister!" - then please step away from your computer. Go to the bathroom mirror. Look into your eyes and say the following aloud:

"I have a bit of a control issue."

The belief that no one can do it better than you serves only to keep you in the role of the Martyr. Unless you are, say, a brain surgeon, then there are many people who can (and will) do it as good as you. (And I doubt that brain surgeons run around cleaning the floor after surgery!)

5 - You're playing not to lose.

Ask any coach or athlete about this.

When you play to not lose, all you're doing is surviving, relying on yourself and hoping no one notices you.

When you play to win - you take risks, you keep your mental attitude strong, you rely on the team, you look for the goal. Decide that you want to play to win.

6 - You've used this phrase at least once in the past month: "By the time I show someone how to do it, I could just do it myself."

This is the mantra of someone who refuses to succeed. It's the mantra of the struggle-addict.

Learning how to delegate is empowering. Not just for you, but for others as well. Besides, when you show them how to do it once, they can keep doing it so you don't have to!

7 - You dread certain things so much that they don't get done.

It's okay to not enjoy certain aspects of your work or your life. This is the exact thing you can hire someone to do.

What items do you dread? No matter what they are, when you get them off your plate, you'll experience more energy just knowing they're getting done - and you don't have to worry about them anymore!

*~*~*~*

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 20,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

Are You Too Sensitive?

I know that this will hit home for some of you, it was especially helpful with what has been happening here.  Another great article by Christine Kane.

9 Immutable Laws of Not Taking Things Personally

Do you ever feel like you're just way too sensitive?

Do comments from other people sometimes knock the wind out of you?

Girl, I totally understand!

During my 15 years in the entertainment business, I had lots of experience learning how to not take things personally!

Really though, there's opportunity in EVERY business to get this same lesson. It's all about learning to live as a creator, and not as a reactor.

One of the common challenges for successful purposeful women is about not taking things personally. That's because moving forward, getting bigger, and living your dreams require that you step out of the petty concerns of your small self. You simply can no longer afford to waste that kind of energy and attention.

So, here are the 9 Immutable Laws of Not Taking Things Personally. Let them guide you to bigger places in your world!

1 - SWSWSWSW

A well-loved acronym, this stands for "Some will. Some won't. So what? Someone's waiting!"

It means that some people will love what you do.

Then there will be those who look at your work, read your poems, review your resume, visit your store - and they'll shrug and say, "Yea, not so much."

So what?

Somewhere out there someone is waiting for your gift. And if you have to keep working on your craft, or wait a little while, that's okay!

2 - Uplevel your "Why."

Your WHY is your deeper motivation. Your WHY is your guideline. Your WHY will help you dismiss the minor petty things that try to hold you back. If you don't know your WHY, if you aren't sure of your purpose here on this planet, set an intention to get clear about that. It will change your outcomes.

3 - Remember that people are busy.

People are busy.

Don't sink into resentment when a single email isn't answered. It's not personal. Many times, it's just that people don't have time to answer every email. We all have a lot on our plates. It's not personal if you have to try someone twice or three times! (Revisit #1.)

4 - Email is instant. Use accordingly.

The rapid pace of our culture has removed much of the etiquette that some might normally expect. Most people just "fire off" email without thinking.

If you get an email that hurts or feels personal, take some time to chill out. Then re-read the email in a kind voice. Be careful with the temptation to over-dramatize someone else being in a hurry.

5 - Begin each day with presence.

How you begin your day sets the tone for the day.

Learn to start your day by getting centered with creative and proactive activities. Some possibilities: meditation, yoga, going to the gym, writing down goals and intentions, visioning your day in advance. Start with a strong foundation each day.

6 - Eat enough. Sleep enough.

Being tired or hungry will make you more sensitive or irritable. Don't try to function well in these draining conditions.

7 - The power of lists.

Are you hoping for the ONE BIG THING that will be your "saving grace?" This is a veritable petri dish for taking things personally!

Examples: Applying for a scholarship to one single program. Submitting your article off to one magazine. Waiting to hear back from one single new client.

There's a better way. Before you send yourself out into the world - be it resume, grant, publication - make a list of many options. Then, move down the list if someone says no. Find the someone who's waiting.

8 - Shut up and listen

When you quietly listen, you may actually see humor in how you can take everything so personally. (LISTEN and SILENT have the same letters for a reason!)

When you're in a conversation, stop and listen. Really deeply listen. Try practicing this first in conversations that are neutral. This will prepare you for more highly charged situations.

9 - Communicate without Emotion

Do you use phrases like this?

- "Well, you're the one who..."

- "You took that all wrong!"

- "You ALWAYS do that!"

- "I'll NEVER make it!"

Notice that this language is laced with drama and blame.

Language is a very powerful tool. Learn to use words that aren't about the emotions and pointing fingers.

"I didn't communicate this well so let me try again."

"I'm not sure I understand you. Can we discuss this on the phone?"

Learn to take a "Here's the facts ma'am" approach. Write out your desired outcome for the conversation. Get clear inside yourself, and then talk with the other person.

*~*~*

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

If You Want a Powerful Day, Create a Personal Morning Ritual

Here's another great article from Christine Kane...

Your habits create your destiny. Have you ever heard that one? Even if you have, read it again. Then read it again. And yea, one more time. :-)

Then, consider this:

Your habits also create your confidence, courage and even your creativity!

Don't believe me? Read on ...

I used to be a creature of zero habits. As a result, I didn't have much direction or focus. Then, I began to shift. I began to create my life. I turned things around. I created habits and rituals - something I had previously dismissed as "too driven" or "too robotic." (Let the winds blow where they will, right?)

For the record, it IS good to be in the present moment and adopt the principle of surrender. But many people use these ideas as an excuse for not even trying to "Live Creative." They allow themselves to become "reactors" of their day, rather than the creators they were born to be.

So, how do you change that? How do you manage all the stuff on your plate? How do you create your day, rather than react to it?

Well, for starters, begin with your own personal morning ritual. Your morning ritual sets the tone for your day, your productivity and even your life.

Your morning ritual is personal. Your morning ritual is what gets YOU on track to create your best day. (And subsequently, your best life!) It can be simple or complex. The important thing is that it becomes a HABIT. (Which is why it's best to start simple.)

My morning ritual combines a mixture of physical, mental and heart-centered activities to engage each of these human power centers!

Here are some easy ideas you can choose from to help you create your own powerful morning ritual.

Hydrate First

Many Eastern health practitioners recommend chugging down at least a half-liter of filtered room-temperature water first thing. (Yes, before your coffee!)

Upon waking, your body has spent hours without hydration. Drinking pure water at this time triggers a series of physiological functions that keep your body super healthy. Some report that this one practice can actually heal many diseases. (I'm not a scientist - but I can attest to the amazing results!)

Get Moving

Exercise is called "The Number One Form of Preventive Medicine."

It is also a prescription for happiness and a cure for depression! Getting exercise first thing sets your day off right. You can do a simple stretching routine, yoga or an all-out heart-pounding hour at the gym. Pick something do-able and then do it.

Meditate

Start with just 5 minutes. Meditation connects you to your center and to the deep silence that surpasses any drama that might be happening in the world of your personality. Don't worry about doing it right. Just allow yourself the time to BE.

Set Intention

Your intention is everything. It is your daily GPS.

Your intention sets the course and brings focus.

Reflect for a moment on your Word of the Year. Read a goal you've written down for yourself. Remind yourself of a financial dream. (If you're one of my Gold or Platinum coaching clients, read your Goal Cards!)

You don't have to know the HOW. You just need to set the intention so your inner GPS stays on target!

Be Grateful

Before I get out of bed, I silently create a morning gratitude list. When I begin my day remembering my "gratitudes," (instead of my "anxieties") my heart fills with extreme joy and deep awareness. I then bring that energy into everything I do - and to everyone with whom I connect.

Eat Creative

Your choice of breakfast foods can set up your success with other meals as well. Start your day off in the healthiest way possible for you - and make it a ritual, not a chore. And yes, it's true what they say: Breakfast is essential!

Be Prepared: Create a Not-to-Do List

Create a "Not To Do" morning list so that you are aware of your Default Activities in advance, and you can catch yourself before you fall into their trap!

Suggestions here include anything that brings up a "reactive" state: Turning on Fox news. Checking email. Answering texts. Answering the phone.

Let these things wait until AFTER your ritual has been completed!

Do it!

After reading this article, don't just think, "Wow. Those are good ideas. I should try one or two."

Instead, deliberately create your morning ritual now. Take about 20 minutes to think about and write down what your ritual will be each morning. Start simple at first. Choose one or two items from this menu. Or come up with your own. Write out your personal morning ritual in detail.

Begin first thing tomorrow morning, and let your habits create YOUR destiny starting now!

*~*~*~*

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

Happy New Year

Ringing in the New Year was not at the top of my list last night since it seems that I am trying to fight off a cold.  I hate being sick and I really hate it since I rarely get that sick.  Usually I am able to fight it off with herbal medicine but it seems that these past few months have put that to the test.  I guess I am just rundown and my body is telling me to take a break. 

 

Being without power for a day didn’t bode so well this week either, luckily the power is back on so that we will at least have heat during this 0° cold spell.  The temperature is fluctuating from below 0 to the high teens so it’s a lot more then simply cold.  So being able to curl up in bed, rest and watch movies for the weekend is a good place to be.

 

With so many plans to implement in this new year it is nice to rest up and be rejuvenated so that Monday when I have to go back to work I can hit the ground running. 

 

Wishing you and yours a joyous and prosperous New Year!

Gratitude

Last week, in the middle of a snow storm, I drove to work.  It was pretty nasty outside and the roads hadn’t been plowed, what made the drive even more precarious was the simple fact that  I hadn’t gotten my snow tires put on my car yet, in fact my snow tires had just been dug out of storage and put in my trunk the day before.  Luckily I made it to work in one piece and I just hoped the snow would let up so that I could take my car in to have the tires changed out, since the snow tires are un-mounted.  My coworker said that if I wanted to take my car in right then she’d come and pick me up, that’s a great thing about working in a small office, we’re always helping one another out this way, so I jumped at the offer because for me it meant that I wouldn’t have to wait around, for hours, while they helped others and changed out the tires. 

I arrived at the tire place and got placed in the queue.  The lady at the counter informed me that it would be about two to three hours (it was just after 10 AM at this point).  I told her that would be fine and left to go back to work. 

Later that day, my coworker asked if I wanted a ride back to the tire shop during our 2 o’clock break, I said that I would call first and see if it was finished since I hadn’t heard from them.  I called and was informed that it wasn’t done yet and it looked like it would be another hour to hour and a half.  I, very nicely, said she told me that morning it would only be two to three hours and that we were now nearing the fourth hour and it would still be another hour and a half.  Needless to say I wasn’t very happy and rather than be upset, I chose to look at positive, that I had a car, I had money for snow tires, that I was at work where I was warm and safe.

Well, that was the first of many problems with my tires and that specific tire place but those other things are not what I wanted to write about.  I was going through my email and came across this article by Christine Kane and it just reiterated how I was feeling and how I feel and I wanted to share it with you.

Why Gratitude Makes You Happy & Wealthy

Gratitude is more than being thankful one day a year. Gratitude is a practice. For some, it's a way of life.

Why do some people swear by the practice of gratitude? Why do these people have joy-filled and abundant lives?

In other words, why does gratitude make you happy and wealthy?

• Because gratitude is about presence.

It's about waking up in this moment and being here - really being here - and noticing what's around you. Most people are so busy thinking about the next thing, or about their horrid past, that they don't wake up and look around at their present moment - the only moment there is.

• Because gratitude is about honoring YOUR precious life.

Do you ever compare your life with someone else's? Do you ever wish your life were better and more like [insert famous person's name here]? Sometimes we can lose ourselves in wondering how we "measure up" to some standard set by our families or by the media. Comparison is the mind killer. The antidote is gratitude.

Gratitude requires that you validate your own life. (And you really don't have any other life, do you?) It forces you to say YES to the gift that is you. The choices you've made and the changes you've gone through -- they have brought you here. Even if here is a place that needs a little adjustment, that's okay. There are always gifts in any present moment.

• Because gratitude is about attracting.

It's difficult to attract abundance and joy if you are constantly saying "no" to what IS. You say "no" each time you focus on the future or past, or when you criticize something that is in your present moment.

Attraction is about saying Yes. When you say Yes, you shift.

Gratitude says, "Yes, I love this!" And then more of this is attracted, because the this is what you're focusing on.

• Because gratitude is about choice.

How you translate any situation is the situation. What you choose to see is the truth (for you).

This isn't proposing that you live in denial or phoniness. It's reminding you that your translation of any life situation is your choice. We've all heard stories of people who have ignored others' translations of their talent, their projects, their art, their looks, their lives. These people chose their own translations and succeeded. You always have a choice when it comes to how you look at things. Choose to choose gratitude.

• Because gratitude is about wisdom.

I think people believe they're being smart if they criticize, complain, and focus on the problems of the world around them.

Smart? Maybe.

Clever? Sure.

But not wise.

It is wise to look for and find the knowing place in your heart. It is wise to choose joy. It is wise to honor your riches. It is wise to focus on and grow the blessings of your life.

• Because gratitude is about recognition.

Use your power of focus to hone in on beauty and on what makes your heart sing. Recognize the spirit in your life. It's all around you waiting to be noticed. In the words of Franz Kafka, "It will roll in ecstasy at your feet."

• Because gratitude is about receptivity.

Gratitude makes you receptive. It makes you a vessel, waiting to be filled.

I carry a tiny notebook with me everywhere I go. In it, I write down song ideas. I write down quotes I hear. I write down ideas for stage stories. As I do that, I become more receptive, and more ideas and songs come to me. It's a tool that says to my subconscious, "Send more my way!" And the subconscious always responds.

Gratitude is the same way. It says, "I am receptive! Send more!" And more arrives.

• Because gratitude is about creativity.

Creativity is really all about attention. (So is genius.)

When I write a song, I build a relationship with that song. I spend time with it. I get to know it. I pay attention to it. Artists do the same thing with drawings. They spend time in rapt attention, and the drawing is born.

Gratitude is how we Live Creative. It is a creative act to notice and pay attention to the moments of your life. Some days it's an enormous act of creativity to find things for which to be thankful.

Start today.

And have a Thanksgiving of presence, creativity, and gratitude!

*~*~*~*

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

How to Reclaim Your Attention and Get More Done

Stop the Splatter! How to Reclaim Your Attention and Get More Done

by Christine Kane

Have you ever been at home all day when there's nothing in the fridge?

You open the door. You poke your head in. You hum a little tune and look around. You sigh. You grab a handful of pine nuts. You go back to your desk.

About an hour later, you're hungry.

So you go back to the fridge and look again. Nothing new has appeared. You pull out some black olives, put them on a saucer, and go back to your desk.

You think, "I should go out and get something to eat." But you don't. A part of you is convinced that a solution will appear. Maybe a Sous Chef will arrive at your door.

Amazingly, this doesn't happen.

Eventually you're back at the fridge. You look in. Then, you close the door, reach up to the cereal cabinet and grab a handful of Kashi...

What happens in this scenario is that you eat all day, but you never feel satisfied. By 5pm, you're strung out, unfulfilled, and you wonder why.

Here's why:

You ate. But you never actually fed yourself.

We do this exact same thing with our attention. We dabble in random things. But we never really commit to anything.

I call it Attention Splatter. It's when you mindlessly and half-heartedly splatter your attention on non-activities. But you never fully engage.

Remember this: Your attention ultimately feeds you. It feeds your heart and your mind. This is why it's so important to notice what you give your attention to. This is also why splattered attention leaves you unfulfilled. You never actually feed yourself.

The most common Attention Splatter culprits are:

• Email
• Cell phones
• Clutter
• Internet
• Television

If you are prone to Attention Splatter, here are seven ways to feed yourself and get more done.

1 - Have no more than three priorities for the day.

There's only so many things you can get done in a day and still enjoy the day. Get into the habit of spending five minutes each night deciding what one thing you want to get done the next day. Ask yourself, "If I only accomplish one thing tomorrow, which one thing would make me most happy?"

2 - Know the task before you sit down at the computer.

This is a must. When you don't do this, you can get lost in the millions of non-items that any computer has to offer.

Assign tasks. (i.e. "Clean out email folders") Assign times. ("From 1pm to 2pm") Stop as soon as the end time arrives.

3 - Put an end to activities that leak.

Make a list of "leaky" activities, and stop the leak by scheduling these activities. (As opposed to letting them take over your day.)

For instance, instead of letting email leak all over your day - all day every day - schedule email as an activity at a certain time each day. Every activity should have a home - a space for its completion. Otherwise, you set yourself up for a full day of splatter.

4 - Leverage your small slices of time.

It's easy to look up at the clock and see that you have, say, 45 minutes before an appointment and think, "Well, I don't have time to do anything substantial. So, I guess I'll just go on line."

Turn your thinking around! Learn to fit constructive things in to small slices of time. It's amazing what you can complete in a short focused slice of time!

5 - Use your intention.

Before you begin any activity, set an intention for that activity. Intend your desired outcome and how you want to feel during the activity. This is the ultimate act of creativity.

6 - Get rid of anything that doesn't feed you.

Incoming emails, group emails, magazine subscriptions, news aggregate feeds, TiVo, memberships, unread books...

The list of incoming stuff goes on and on.

Get your life in order. Get rid of anything that doesn't feed you. If you subscribe to it, ask yourself why. Start letting go of stuff. Doing this one thing has helped me create a home and office environment that is healthy and sacred. Be ruthless about keeping the incoming stuff to a minimum.

7 - Be present in your down-time.

When you take a nap, take a nap. When you take a Saturday off, really take it off. Don't spend the day obsessing about the things you should be doing. Turn off the computer. Get out of your office. Go away.
Fully disengaging from all of it for fun is imperative. Plus, this will allow you to return with renewed energy and attention!

---

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

Farm Chicks and Physical Therapy

After participating in the annual Farm Chicks show for the past couple of years, this year we had to, unfortunately, opt out.  Mommy hasn’t been up to doing shows, physically, and each time she had to really push it and in essence put herself in harm’s way.  When we had to make a decision about doing the Farm Chicks show this year, it was difficult and time consuming, finally we had to choose Mommy’s health and turn down this fabulous show. 

 

Instead of getting ready for the show we got Mommy ready.  I researched exercises and physical therapy for her and made up a workout program for her to start.  She became very diligent in her daily workouts so when the show came in June we were able to go and explore it as shoppers instead of vendors for the first time. 

 

I am so proud to announce that Mommy is doing wonderfully and is looking mighty beautiful.  This is a photo I took when her sister’s were visiting.  She had to go to a mystery theater lunch and her part was of a mourning daughter.  I made her up, quickly sewed a bird cage veil out of some veiling I had in my room and let her borrow my gorgeous Vera Wang necklace…

 

I love being her stylist and with someone who looks this good (especially for 60!) it can be pretty easy.

Love you Mommy!

You Teach People How to Treat You

This is a mantra I repeat over and over to most people around me including my coworkers and Mommy.  It’s a boundary I set up a long time ago and have stuck by it because when I have let things slide then I feel it… deeply and I don’t feel better until I have corrected it.

Being up front from the beginning is the easiest, retraining is a whole other venture… it’s all about consistency, just like with children and animals.  I’m not saying that you need to deal with adults the same way you would deal with children and animals but you need to keep it in mind when dealing with most people.  My biggest pet peeve is when someone complains about being “used” or “walked on” and they have blatantly allowed it to happen.

Recently, I witnessed just such an interaction.  I was waiting in an office building and a woman walked into another woman’s office and started in on some topic that she needed help with.  The first woman, I’ll call her Dani, was very busy working on a project so when the second woman (I’ll call her Shirley) walked in there was already tension.  Shirley stopped talking mid-sentence once she assessed the situation and said “oh, I’m sorry, I see you’re busy would you like me to come back another time?”.

To this Dani replied, “No, that’s okay.”

During this entire ten minute conversation Shirley stopped a total of three times to ask if it would be better to just set up an appointment for a later time and each time Dani said no.  After Shirley left Dani went into a tirade spouting that she couldn’t believe “the nerve of some people” and “couldn’t she see I was busy?”. 

I know Dani pretty well so I first looked at her quizzically and then asked “Did you hear her give you an out… three times?”  I watched as she sighed deeply and I whispered “you teach people how to treat you”.

Then I open my email this morning and this article is at the top so I decided to share it with you.

 

Happy Wednesday!

*~*~*~*~*

There I was in Web Guy’s office.

He was overwhelmed and angry. He complained that clients were calling on weekends and late at night. No one was honoring his schedule.

I told him what I learned many years ago from one of my coaches. It’s a fundamental truth that has served me (and my clients) immensely. It is this:

You teach people how to treat you.

His eyes lit up. He couldn’t believe it was that simple. And the more we talked, the more excited he got. (I refrained from calling him Grasshopper.)

So, what does it mean?

It means that it’s up to you to allow or not allow certain treatment. It also means that you have to get clear about how you want to be treated. It means that you have to take responsibility for writing your own Owner’s Manual, and hold yourself accountable for living by it.

In other words? Stop blaming other people for not knowing your rules! (Especially if you never enforce them yourself!)

Here are five steps for teaching people how to treat you.

1 - Start by Knowing What You Want (and What You Don’t Want).

Pick an area of your life where you want to be treated differently. Describe how you’d like to be treated. Or, write about what you don’t want.

You’ll probably have some obvious beginning points. For instance, if you’re tired of people wasting your time with latest office drama, you might decide, “I don’t allow people to gossip in my presence.”

Simple? Yes. But it’s amazing how many of us allow these kinds of interactions without ever making necessary changes.

2 - Learn from your Current Situation.

Ask yourself how you’ve allowed certain behaviors from others.

Choose one situation where you feel mistreated. Ask yourself how you allowed this to happen. You’ll be amazed to see that often you choose to ignore your own needs or desires.

This process can show you where you get triggered. For instance, you might be tempted to say, “Well, I don’t have a choice! He makes me feel guilty if I don’t do it his way!”

Bingo! There’s your trigger. Guilt!

Acknowledge that you allowed the situation so that you could avoid feeling guilty. Then, recognize that guilt is a trigger that will tempt you to ignore your own Owner’s Manual. This is a valuable awareness.

3 - Honor It and Practice It.

Think process. Not event.

It’s not a one-time thing. When you’ve taught people how to treat you one way, it can take some time to change that pattern.

One reason people struggle with this is that they wait until they’re triggered before they attempt to set boundaries. Try not to communicate when you’re in a highly charged emotional state. At that point, you’re not teaching people how to treat you. You’re probably blaming them and making yourself the victim.

Instead, wait until you get calm, then start with Step #2. Take the necessary course of action to right the situation.

4 - Teach YOU How to Treat You When That’s the Only Choice.

Not everyone is going to honor your requests or your clarity. Sometimes it’ll have to be YOU who treats you well.

You must include yourself in your equation. If you’ve told your clients that you don’t take business calls on weekends, then don’t make business calls on weekends.

5 - Learn from People who are Clear and Successful.

I’ll be the first to admit it. This article won’t be popular among your co-workers and friends. That’s because we’re taught to “be nice” more than we are taught to “be big.”

So, you must find people who can model this behavior for you, who encourage you to succeed, and who offer a different perspective on happiness than just “be nice.” I always surround myself with people who hold me accountable to my intentions and goals. They don’t let me make excuses or blame people. This is imperative. (I write these articles because I know the temptations, trust me! :-) )

That being said, my teleseminar next week is going to provide you with SO much coaching in this area! I’ll be revealing so many of my best-kept secrets for getting absolutely clear and creating POWERFUL LASTING RESULTS in your life! (No matter how much might be blocking your path right now.)

We’ve already got over 1500 people registered! Click here to reserve your space!

 

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

No Poo Shampoo – One Year Later

Over a year ago I began a little experiment with my hair care… little did I know that I would still be doing it and loving it all these months later.  For those who don’t know, I gave up traditional shampoo and conditioner during the end of December last year, and haven’t looked back. 

 

Baby Boy had sent me a website that discussed the use of a baking soda and water mixture to replace shampoo and a concoction of apple cider vinegar and water as a conditioning rinse.  Each mix begins with one tablespoon of either the baking soda or the vinegar to one cup of water.  Of course these measurements can and should be adjusted depending on your length of hair.

 

(This is my hair, almost dry, just the other day.)

 

In the beginning, I had to perfectly measure the baking soda because when I had too little then my hair felt greasy, too much then it felt dry and brittle.  Once I got the measurements down everything else just fell into place.

 

If you would have asked me last year if I thought I would still be using baking soda and vinegar as my wash aids, I would have laughed and told you no.  I thought that I would try it out and see how it worked but then, eventually, I would go back to store bought shampoo and conditioner.  I am happy and impressed with the results.  For the first time my hair has truly become wash and go… and that’s a great thing for me.  I don’t like to fuss with my hair and since I have naturally curly hair I’ve just about always had to futz with it or put it up.

 

So for me, here’s to another year “poo” free.

Treadmill

I picked up my prize, the one I won from the Healthy Directions Committee Biggest Loser Challenge, this past weekend.  I decided to get a treadmill (so that Mommy could partake as well). 

 

It is H-E-A-V-Y!

 

I’ll set it up in my room (soon, I still have to clear out a space for it to live) and couldn’t be happier to have REAL exercise equipment to use this winter. 

 

I’ll keep you updated on my progress.