Burford Designs

How to Stop Playing Small & Start Living Big

This article is so fitting for me... I'll have more to share sometime soon.

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by Christine Kane

There are scary moments in any woman's journey in her business and life. But in my experience (and my clients), there is nothing as intense as the moment of clarity when you suddenly get a glimpse of what is REALLY possible for you. Suddenly, you see how SMALL you have been thinking. You realize that you can play a much much bigger game.

It's liberating. But it can be terrifying.

The question arises: Can I become this big? Can I let myself do that?

In other words...

I think I'm ready to let go of these old limitations. I think it's time to quit worrying about the opinions of others. I know I can really stop playing small. Am I up for it?!

It can take your breath away when you reach this moment of discovery. And it changes the entire game. It's when we choose to Play Big or Go Home.

As I host 120 people here in Asheville next week for my Uplevel LIVE retreat - I invite you to use our mojo - and take some time to re-ignite, re-inspire, and re-invigorate your visions and dreams.

Here are five steps to help you stop playing small and start living BIG.

1 - Mind your Mind

Your thoughts are things. They can be powerful tools, or devastating weapons.

It's not always quick to clean up years of negativity. AND the truth is you are the only one who can begin to do just that. If you're constantly berating yourself, doubting yourself, obsessing about the opinions of others, then set your intention to turn that around.

Listen to upbeat audiobooks in your car. Post affirmations in spots where you'll see them throughout the day. Start a gratitude journal.

Remind yourself: "Energy flows where attention goes," and place your attention on gratitude, love, and joy. Be relentless! You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought!

2 - Take Action

Long ago, when I was trying to get confident enough to do my first open-mic night, I chickened out three different times, walking out of the venues without performing. I was waiting for self-esteem to appear.

It never appeared. But finally, with a shaky voice, I did my first open-mic night anyway. What I discovered was this:

Self-esteem shows up BECAUSE you take action. Not before!

Here's a mantra for you: "Create! Don't wait!"

What one action-step can you take toward your dream today?

3 - Radiate Success

Do you whine and complain to anyone who will listen? Do you tell your sad story to get people to feel sorry for you? Do you see yourself as a victim who can't CREATE outcomes, so you try to manipulate outcomes?

Living big means you radiate success.

Stop posting to Facebook about how miserable you are. Don't share how bad things are at the office with your clients. Refrain from whining to your friends about how hard it is to run your own business! (Save that stuff for your coach if you need to get it out of your system.)

Remember this: Like attracts like. When you radiate success, then success is drawn to you.

4 - Regularly Exit your Comfort Zone

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got!"

This is one of my favorite expressions. Cuz it's true!

I've worked with hundreds of people as a mentor, a coach, a leader of retreats. The ones who write me emails about how their lives have changed are always the ones who are willing to exit their comfort zones. They try new things. They let themselves get scared. They say yes to new opportunities. They take time to go within and ask themselves what they want next and how they can create it. (Rather than staying on auto-pilot.)

People who live big have one thing in common: They learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable!

5 - Surround Yourself with Support

I hired my first coach ten years ago. I paid him more per month than my mortgage at the time! I've since been a part of many coaching groups and masterminds - continuing to invest in this model of massive support. I swear by it!

That's because we need to surround ourselves with encouraging believers who see through our limiting beliefs to the huge powerful souls we were meant to be. Many people work and socialize in toxic environments. If this is you, then step out of your comfort zone and actively seek out positive people who want to create and attract their dreams. Surround yourself with people who want to live big like you!

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Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

Paid What the Job is Worth

When I was in my early twenties I worked for a large company.  It began as a summer college program (I started when I was eighteen) and turned into not only my summer job but my any time I had a break during school job, and basically whenever I wanted or needed to make some extra cash job.  There was an understanding with the Human Resources director that, if I wanted, I would be hired on after graduation and at the time, that is what I thought I wanted.  Over the years I worked for all of the departments and in various facets learning about the company from every aspect. 

When I was a year away from graduation I began working closely with a lady who was the head of the communications department.  She was an older lady (Jane) who had worked for the company for many years and was the one who had originally hired me.  She had recently remarried and felt that it was time to retire soon and she wanted to train me so that I would take over her position when I graduated.  For months I helped with internal and external communications, press releases, etc.  (This was in addition to working my normal job with the company.) 

 

Jane officially announced her retirement date and the next day I was called into a meeting with her and the head of HR (Teri).  During this meeting we discussed my being hired officially for the position once Jane retired and I graduated (Jane would retire about two weeks after I graduated).  At this time money and employee benefits were not discussed but I didn’t think anything of it I was just happy to have a job waiting for me when I finished school.

 

I continued to work, as I had the past few months, doing my regular job and now being officially trained for the new one.  My days and nights were filled with studying and writing papers for classes, working the two jobs and studying and learning what I could for the new position. 

 

Finally I had graduated and Jane was set to retire in a matter of days.  I went to work early one day to discuss the transition and my compensation.  Teri got a very frazzled look on her face as she told me that a lot of things had changed since we last spoke about this (although she had not said a word to Jane or me) and that, well, I was still going to be placed in that position but I wouldn’t get an increase in pay nor additional benefits.  By this point I had enough sense and wherewithal to know that it was a bad situation that would never change.  And with that I gave my notice and began looking for another job. 

I heard from people that continued to work there that the management was shocked that I had stood up for myself and that they never were able to get someone to fill that position.  I was proud for several reasons… the first being that I had stood up for myself and have never taken on a job where I have accepted less that what I was worth and then less than a year later the parent corporation closed that branch of the company down.  They absorbed most of the management positions, moving them all over the country, but everyone else was simply downsized.

"Shields up! Rrrrred alert!"

The quote in the title is attributed to Captain William Thomas Riker, played by Jonathan Frakes, from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

 

Some days I really wish I had defense shields with today being one of those days.   The minute my foot slid out of my very warm and comfortable bed and felt the very cold and unpleasant ground almost everything in me screamed to go back to bed… where it’s warm and comfortable and safe, but my reasoning responsible logical side prevailed and I readied for work.  As I scampered down the steps and hurried to my car I noticed the outside thermometer (that just happens to be against the wall at the bottom of the porch steps) read a blustery six below (that’s -6° Fahrenheit which translates to -21° for my Celsius friends).  These past few days have been quite deceptive, it has been very sunny with a sky of brilliant blue, but unless you are fully bundled up you don’t dare go outside because the temperature has barely gotten into double digits.

 

Luckily at work all the heaters have been worked on and fixed or recently replaced so temperatures were raised there, little did I know that it wasn’t just the temperature of the office but of everyone I would deal with today.  First thing, my co-worker screamed (not at me, just in general) because she couldn’t get anything done because the phone hadn’t stopped ringing and people kept coming in to ask questions that she couldn’t answer, etc. so she was thankful that I was there to help.  And as described people came into the office hot under the collar about this and that and it was my job to talk to them, calm them down, and figure out a solution.  Everyone left a lot happier and many issues were dealt with but it takes its toll, especially after six straight hours.

 

Worked finished and I looked forward to going home, to my warm home, and getting some projects completed.  Things were going well then all of a sudden they weren’t.  I was in the middle of a conversation (that was about nothing, very Seinfeld nothing) and the other person went off on an angry tangent and I was done for the day.  I proceeded to my room and crawled into my welcoming bed raising my shields, well my comforter and blankets, and saying adieu to my unpleasant day.

The i’s and t’s Have It

I am a dot my i’s and cross my t’s kind of gal, so it is no wonder why I was put on this most recent and tedious duty.  There are about 200 employees in the district and I have been tasked to go through each and every file and make sure that all of them have the necessary forms and that they are dated and signed by all parties, etc.

 

For most people this would seem monotonous but I don’t mind it mostly because I know that it will make my job easier when in the future I have to update files and I will already know if we have the most current transcript or evaluation or job description.  I liken it to having a clean work area or supply closet.  When I first began working for the district the supply closet was a horrendous mess.  I had difficulty finding even the most basic supplies, like pads of paper or markers, without digging around and climbing over items.  It was a dirty task and nobody wanted to do it. 

 

Knowing that all of our time was valuable, and not wanting to waste my time searching for needed items, I took it upon myself to spend an afternoon and clean up the closet.  It was a good decision because now I, as well as everyone else, can go in there and grab whatever is needed in mere seconds.

 

So I will spend a few mornings going through files and compiling lists knowing that it isn’t all for naught.

Busy Days

I have spent the last two weeks trying to set up those In-Service trainings I originally wrote about here.  Last Friday I had another trainer cancellation but still had a pretty full schedule, even though I was teaching at least six (about half) of the sessions.  My boss said that she would take on the two morning sessions that I needed to reschedule, which was a welcome relief.

 

With the down economy (and our district and state’s budget crisis) I had no money to put this together, that severely limited my options with instructors (thus me teaching so many classes) since a lot of people I contacted wanted payment for the class or at least travel expenses covered.  I completely understand this and if I had the money I would have loved to comply, however it just was not the case for this year.

 

Things were going well otherwise.  I had rooms booked for the different trainings and I was spending a lot of time prepping my classes after hours (which I didn’t mind since I really enjoy teaching sessions like this).  Then I received an email from another instructor, who was scheduled to teach three classes Thursday afternoon, and she had to cancel due to illness.  Still plans were being made and I was scrambling to figure out what could replace those classes.

 

With two days to go the entire thing was scrapped.  Employees weren’t signing up, instructors were canceling, and I was told that some department heads had mandatory meetings planned that coincided with my trainings.  It was frustrating to say the least, I’m just glad that I don’t have to worry about it anymore.  I set up some small group trainings and one-on-one sessions for classes that I had planned to teach and will be doing that on Thursday and Friday.

 

At least something useful came out of it.

Training

Okay, I just need to vent a little.  As with all jobs, there are aspects that I like, parts that I love and still other facets that I loathe.  Sometimes I am on the fence between love and loathe within one project and that is where I am now.

 

My boss approached me the other day with the infamous words “I have a project that I think you are just going to love.”  To me this signifies two things: first, that whatever the project is it is due soon and second, she has waited too long to do it herself so it has been passed along to me.  Most last minute projects I don’t mind.  My rule with most bosses has been that as long as I have the resources to do it and can do it relatively well, then I’m happy to oblige this time and telling them that hopefully in the future they will give me more time.

 

One time, several years ago, the boss called me and asked me to create a PowerPoint presentation for a meeting she was having in ten minutes (yes, TEN minutes).  She was shocked when I told her no.  She asked why not and I listed exactly why not, besides the fact that we didn’t have the program because she hadn’t purchased the entire MS Office system I would not put together a sloppy presentation that would embarrass her or rain a hailstorm of grief on me afterwards because it was shoddy. I went on to explain that in the future she would have to have the programs needed and at least a day’s notice so that revisions could be made.  Needless to say she purchased PowerPoint and had a couple of people work on the next presentation for a day and a half, then turned around and hired a professional to do it.

 

Anyhow, back to the original vent, the project is to put together two days of training for part of our staff.  I have two weeks to throw this together and try to find people to give classes and apparently have at least two options per time slot… what? 

 

I’ll just do my best for the time allotted and see what happens.

Kâli and Other Office Deities

I was trying to find something to wake me up and inspire me this morning, since I knew that I would be going into a virtual ghost town of an office today, when I came across this blog called HR Manager. 

 

After following the links to a few posts I decided to just jump to the beginning and see what I found.  The post is titled “Office Shivas” and features this picture

with “When I look in the mirror and at my staff and see Office Shivas looking back at me, it's my signal to take a close look at how we work” as the opening line.

A lot of us have been there before, or even are there now.  I know with the beginning of school many more of us are feeling pulled in all directions and only wish we had as many arms to get things done.  There are some good points in the post but that’s not what really struck me personally.

 

I laughed when I saw the photo because it reminded me of a resignation letter I turned in at a previous job and how thankful that I first, have a better work environment now and second, no matter how hectic it gets here I’m happier.  There have only been a few jobs that I resigned from where “leaving for school” or “returning home for the summer” weren’t my reasons for quitting.  One story I’m saving for a different post but the more recent resignation was difficult.

 

Without going into detail (why rehash such things) I’ll just tell the related story.  I had been unhappy in that job for many months but still trekked to work and did a great job (as great of a job as I could with limited resources, training etc).  One of my employees had been fired out of the blue just a couple of weeks before and I found myself “promoted” to her position while still retaining my previous position.  So now, not only was I unhappy but I was supposed to somehow do two full time jobs in one forty hour week and still maintain the same level of work.  The boiling point came a few weeks into this new amalgamation of responsibilities when the receptionist quit and the boss decided to leave for a spontaneous vacation rather than deal with what was going on in her business.

 

With the receptionist gone, those of us remaining took it upon ourselves to figure out how to handle the missing receptionist position and get through this.  We decided that we would all take turns covering the front desk since aspects of each of our jobs could be completed from any computer and therefore it wouldn’t fall on one person.  Best laid plans and all…. 

 

The first day several of us took turns, then when it came time for the others to help out they either couldn’t be bothered or were nowhere to be found.  Somehow, the others formed a caucus and decided that they weren’t going to “help out” and I could just do it.

 

No one was able to reach our leader and with her absence a coup d'état happened.  With that, I began forming my resignation letter.  I toiled over what to write and to actually write what needed to be said and addressed.  I formed the letter as a resignation and an exit interview and under the question about “what qualifications or skills should the new employee possess” I listed skills and ended with “the employee should also have the patience of Job and the body of Kâli”(Kâli being a Hindu goddess with several arms).

 

Although my quitting didn’t go over too well, as one would expect, I was told by several employees that is was the best letter they had read.  Apparently the boss finally came back, made photocopies of the letter, and had a meeting with the remaining employees even going as far as hiring a mediator for the workplace.  But from what I’ve heard that was even short lived.

 

As several of us go into this three day weekend remember to take the time for rest, relaxation and maybe even some reflection.

 

Happy Friday!

One Week Down…

I have just completed my first week back at work.  It was very crazy and hectic but that is the nature of my work seeing that it falls at the beginning and the end of the school year (with my summer vacation falling in between).  There is one major difference this year in that we are one person down in office staff (due to the economy and  budgetary cuts) so there are quite a bit of things we are all trying to figure out.

 

There are substitute orientations on Monday and Tuesday that I am supposed to be running and on Wednesday is our huge district wide meeting and health fair then my boss and the other office employee are gone for the rest of the week so next week is looking to be even crazier.  For me, all this means being more prepared and having check lists for everything.

 

The good news is it seems that school enrollment is going to be up.  I have had tons of parents come down trying to sign up their kids (of all ages) even though registration happens at the individual schools.

 

It looks like I will co-chair the Healthy Directions Committee again, hopefully we will get that off to a stronger start this year since we ended well last school year.

 

But, that’s enough about work since it is officially the weekend I will only dwell on that for the next couple of days.

 

Happy Friday!

Back to Work

It is amazing how quickly I just fell back into my work routine this morning.  From waking up and getting ready to driving to the post office at the end of the day it was as if I had only been gone for the weekend instead of the last two months.

 

Of course I was pounced upon the minute I walked in the door with people wanting things, but really, there are a lot of days where that is just par for the course.  I was happy to have remembered all of my passwords (there are several programs and systems all requiring different logons and passwords).

 

I just know that I have to get back into work mode and make time for all the things that I really want to do, along with doing all the things I need to do.  We will see what happens as the week progresses.

 

Happy Monday!!

 

Post Script: Chewie was not used to me being gone all day… he has been stuck to my side for the last half hour or so, I’m sure wondering where I was all day.  He has to get used to it again too.  Spanky on the other hand, slept all day and didn’t even realize I wasn’t here.  Since he’s a night owl like me, he’s just happy that I’m here in the evening and later

Summer Vacation Begins

Today is my last day at work until August.  I worked on the employee calendars this week; finishing up what I had already started and trying to keep my sanity as all of the calendars kept changing (too many chefs trying to have their say).  I laughed at mine because I knew my boss wasn’t going to allow it as it stood (with me not starting work until September). 

 

Once she saw my calendar she said “no way”.  We worked it out (to what I knew it would end up being) but I still don’t go back until the last week in August and I get two weeks off at Christmas again!  YAY!

 

It’s been a weird last couple of weeks because everyone has different schedules for the summer.  One of my office mates has been on vacation for the last two weeks so I won’t see her until I go back to work (unless I work a special project this summer since that is in the works).  Another office mate has today off because of a special trip to Boise with her recent graduate so we said our goodbyes yesterday.  My boss works all year (she does get vacation days, personal days and sick days) so she and the one coworker who has been on vacation work during the summer.  And yet another coworker has her last day at the end of this month because her job was eliminated.

There are a lot of good and bad things about today for all those reasons and more.  But one reason for me to be super happy is my prize from the Healthy Directions Biggest Loser Challenge will be ordered today and I should get it next week.  I’ll share pictures of it when I get it.

 

I’ll still be writing, creating and doing a million things so I won’t be leaving you all, so no worries. 

 

Happy Friday!!