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Are You Having a Bad Day?

Things are going better but there have been some dips.  This article helped me get out of my own mind, sometimes I just need to stop thinking about EVERYTHING.  And Baby Boy, the "icky" word is just for you...

How to Deal with a Bad Day by Christine Kane

Let's face it. No matter how much progress we make, we're still going to have "bad days."

You know the ones.

When the old critical voices are milling about drinking martinis in your head. You try to send them all away with your favorite powerful affirmation, but only a few of them even look up - and one of them turns away and snickers.

So, what do you do when no matter what you do, you're just icky?

Very few success-gurus or business coaches talk about the bad day. Rarer still is any discussion on the process of following your dreams or building a business and the persistence it takes to break through old patterns.

Sometimes it helps to hear someone be honest about this stuff. Not so that you can indulge in self-pity about how hard you have it. But so that when the bad day strikes, you have some leverage and you KNOW WHAT TO DO! (Or not to do!)

So, how do you get through a bad day?

Here's a few things that help me. Let them help you too...

WHAT TO REMIND YOURSELF:

1 - The icky voices do not tell the truth.

They're just your old voices coming up to feed. Do not feed them. This is what makes them stay.

2 - This is not who you are.

The voices like to tell you that this messed up person is who you really are and that the rest of the world doesn't have these same flaws.

Not true.

This is just a temporary set back. That's all.

3 - Lattes don't take the voices away. It just makes them go faster.

Bad Days are not a call to rush out to Starbucks, hoping that if you move faster, it will all go away. If there's any action that needs to be taken now, it's probably a nap.

4 - You can put off your productivity until tomorrow.

Consciously choosing to be unproductive is much more effective than spending the day wondering why you can't get anything done. It really is okay to put down your goals and to-dos for one day. You can return to them tomorrow. Today, make it your goal to consciously do nothing.

5 - Everything seems worse when you're tired or hungry.

If you are tired or hungry, that could be the primary cause of feeling bad. Eat something yummy. Take a nap. Go somewhere and sit quietly.

WHAT TO DO:

1 - Stop feeling bad about feeling bad.

If it helps, make today a container. Know that you're allowed to have this stuff and that nothing horrid is going to happen with this one day of getting thrown off.

2 - Make no decisions.

The late Richard Carlson, author and psychologist, gave this great advice: "Never make decisions when you're in a low mood." That's because low moods are a natural occurrence and that any low-mood decisions are typically not healthy. Put off all decisions when you're having a bad day.

3 - Don't read fashion magazines. Or the news.

4 - Take a 20 minute walk.

Bring a gentle affirmation along with you. On days like this you don't want to say, "I am master of the universe!!!" On days like this you want to say, "I am loved. I am precious."

5 - Don't try to FIX yourself today.

No need to rush to the Self-Help section at Borders. Maybe there are steps you can take toward being healthier in the big picture. But today, let yourself stop.

6 - Lower your standards.

If you eat a good healthy meal, be proud. If you do a little yoga, give yourself a high five. Tomorrow you can have your old high standards back and be productive and evolved and all that. Not today.

7 - Say NO to anything if it's motivated by the word "should."

This is a good rule to follow on good days too!

8 - Ask yourself what you feel like doing.

Sometimes the answer to this can be surprising. Maybe you'll want to begin a fiction audiobook and clean your closet! Maybe you'll just want a nap. Don't judge your response. Just do it. You might be surprised at how this one little bit of permission changes your state instantly!

9 - Don't do anything destructive.

Don't overdose on sugar or indulge in alcohol. Don't call anyone who drains you. It will not help.

WHAT TO BE:

Be very, very kind to yourself.

WHAT TO KNOW:

That the victory is not about not having bad days anymore. The victory is that you can get back up after having one.

*~*~*~*

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com

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Are You Too Sensitive?

I know that this will hit home for some of you, it was especially helpful with what has been happening here.  Another great article by Christine Kane.

9 Immutable Laws of Not Taking Things Personally

Do you ever feel like you're just way too sensitive?

Do comments from other people sometimes knock the wind out of you?

Girl, I totally understand!

During my 15 years in the entertainment business, I had lots of experience learning how to not take things personally!

Really though, there's opportunity in EVERY business to get this same lesson. It's all about learning to live as a creator, and not as a reactor.

One of the common challenges for successful purposeful women is about not taking things personally. That's because moving forward, getting bigger, and living your dreams require that you step out of the petty concerns of your small self. You simply can no longer afford to waste that kind of energy and attention.

So, here are the 9 Immutable Laws of Not Taking Things Personally. Let them guide you to bigger places in your world!

1 - SWSWSWSW

A well-loved acronym, this stands for "Some will. Some won't. So what? Someone's waiting!"

It means that some people will love what you do.

Then there will be those who look at your work, read your poems, review your resume, visit your store - and they'll shrug and say, "Yea, not so much."

So what?

Somewhere out there someone is waiting for your gift. And if you have to keep working on your craft, or wait a little while, that's okay!

2 - Uplevel your "Why."

Your WHY is your deeper motivation. Your WHY is your guideline. Your WHY will help you dismiss the minor petty things that try to hold you back. If you don't know your WHY, if you aren't sure of your purpose here on this planet, set an intention to get clear about that. It will change your outcomes.

3 - Remember that people are busy.

People are busy.

Don't sink into resentment when a single email isn't answered. It's not personal. Many times, it's just that people don't have time to answer every email. We all have a lot on our plates. It's not personal if you have to try someone twice or three times! (Revisit #1.)

4 - Email is instant. Use accordingly.

The rapid pace of our culture has removed much of the etiquette that some might normally expect. Most people just "fire off" email without thinking.

If you get an email that hurts or feels personal, take some time to chill out. Then re-read the email in a kind voice. Be careful with the temptation to over-dramatize someone else being in a hurry.

5 - Begin each day with presence.

How you begin your day sets the tone for the day.

Learn to start your day by getting centered with creative and proactive activities. Some possibilities: meditation, yoga, going to the gym, writing down goals and intentions, visioning your day in advance. Start with a strong foundation each day.

6 - Eat enough. Sleep enough.

Being tired or hungry will make you more sensitive or irritable. Don't try to function well in these draining conditions.

7 - The power of lists.

Are you hoping for the ONE BIG THING that will be your "saving grace?" This is a veritable petri dish for taking things personally!

Examples: Applying for a scholarship to one single program. Submitting your article off to one magazine. Waiting to hear back from one single new client.

There's a better way. Before you send yourself out into the world - be it resume, grant, publication - make a list of many options. Then, move down the list if someone says no. Find the someone who's waiting.

8 - Shut up and listen

When you quietly listen, you may actually see humor in how you can take everything so personally. (LISTEN and SILENT have the same letters for a reason!)

When you're in a conversation, stop and listen. Really deeply listen. Try practicing this first in conversations that are neutral. This will prepare you for more highly charged situations.

9 - Communicate without Emotion

Do you use phrases like this?

- "Well, you're the one who..."

- "You took that all wrong!"

- "You ALWAYS do that!"

- "I'll NEVER make it!"

Notice that this language is laced with drama and blame.

Language is a very powerful tool. Learn to use words that aren't about the emotions and pointing fingers.

"I didn't communicate this well so let me try again."

"I'm not sure I understand you. Can we discuss this on the phone?"

Learn to take a "Here's the facts ma'am" approach. Write out your desired outcome for the conversation. Get clear inside yourself, and then talk with the other person.

*~*~*

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

Is Your Clutter Destructive?

One of my words for this year is PURGE (you will probably be reading a lot about it in this blog) and I don't know how Christine Kane does it but this morning I received the following article through email... exactly what I wanted to write about, so I thought I'd share it with you as well.

9 Destructive Reasons We Cling to Clutter

"Perfection is not when there is no more to add, but no more to take away."

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

A retired man once told me he loved going camping with his wife because camping showed her how simple life can be "without all that bloomin' stuff she keeps everywhere!"

He's right!

Our lives are meant to be simple. Our intuition and creativity thrive when given freedom and space. Clutter is a disease. Each moment we ignore the reasons we hold on to things we don't want, those things rob us of energy, health, and clarity. Yes, clutter is destructive!

If you're a clutter-clinger, be kind to yourself. Begin with an awareness of your thoughts and excuses. For starters, read over this list to see if you can find YOUR excuse!

Clutter Excuse #1: "I'd be a mean horrible person if I..."

Guilt is heavy gooey energy that convinces us we're bad people if we let go of heirlooms, knick-knacks, unwanted clothing or gifts.

These items clutter up our lives and keep us in a comfortable - but draining - place. And conveniently, we never have to decide what we actually do want in our environment. We become environmental victims. Often, that spreads into other parts of our lives too!

Clutter Excuse #2 - "I spent so much on it!"

Do you punish yourself for having made a bad choice by keeping the item around? Or convince yourself that you're going to get your money's worth - even if it drains the heck out of you?

You won't. And it will.

We've all done stupid things. And we've all had to let them go. Now it's your turn.

Clutter Excuse #3 - "I might need this someday."

I often wonder how many idle telephone cords exist in the world. Way in the back of old desk drawers. Stuffed on closet shelves. They can't be gotten rid of.

Why?

Because we might need them some day.

Evidently, some day - in spite of technological progress - you're going to need that particular grey phone cord that came in the box with a phone you bought in 1989.

Throw it out. Now.

Same thing goes for: The broken fax machine, switch plates from your first house, and every glass flower vase that came with deliveries.

Clutter Excuse #4 - "I might do this someday."

I know. I know.

Someday you'll take those broken pieces of china you've collected and create a beautiful mosaic birdbath. And you'll go through those stacks of magazines and make that collage for your sister's 30th birthday party. (She's 51 now.)

Now - I don't mean to deny you your plans and dreams. However, I urge you to consider experiencing the infinite relief that appears when you let old project ideas go.

Call your sister and tell her the collage ain't gonna happen. Buy a mosaic birdbath from an artist who makes her living from creating such treasures.

And then, make space for what you want to do. Don't fill your space with what you should do.

Clutter Excuse #5 - "I gotta look good to my guests."

CD's. Books. DVD's. Are these items treasured? Or are they simply a prop so your guests will be impressed by your intelligence and diverse tastes?

Remember this: we are motivated by two things: Fear or Love. Which of these keeps you clinging to items because of appearances?

Clutter Excuse #6 - "I Don't Know Where It Goes."

When items don't have a home, it's harder to determine whether or not they are clutter. Some things may seem like clutter - like the cute card that your daughter made that floats around from drawer to drawer - but they're not clutter.

They're homeless.

Once you start defining spaces for items, then it's easier to see when something doesn't fit anywhere and should just get tossed.

Clutter Excuse #7 - "My thoughts don't have any power. Do they?"

Everything has energy. The thoughts you have about the things in your home CREATE energy. If you are surrounded by stuff you keep out of guilt, then your environment holds guilt. If you hang on to stuff given to you by your ex, and you still feel bitter - then there is bitterness in your home.

Get it?

It's either fueling you or draining you. If anything triggers you, then that is your barometer. Let it go.

Clutter Excuse #8 - "But I never wore it!"

See Clutter Excuse #2.

Clutter Excuse #9 - "There's too much stuff!"

Overwhelm can stop us in our tracks. If this article makes you aware that there are lots of items in your life you don't like, then go slow. Schedule small chunks of time each day. It takes time to be clutter-free! But the newfound clarity and lightness are worth it!

*~*~*

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

Modern Living and Modern Furniture

The other day I was thinking about my brother, Baby Boy, and how much he likes modern furniture.  He already has a beautiful Eames lounge chair with the ottoman and a lovely Barcelona chair (all are originals), along with some other really nice pieces and that just got me thinking about what else would he like and that led me to my friends over as CSN Stores and their store filled with modern furniture.

They have items broken down into different categories everything from wallpaper and lighting to accent pillows, statues and figurines.  They even have the items broken down by designer so if you know exactly what you are looking for it is pretty easy to scout it out that way.  And heck, if you didn't know the designer, it seems like a good way to find out and do some research by shopping with your eyes. 

I know one thing that Baby Boy wants is a floor lamp similar to a George Kovacs - Arc Floor Lamp in Chrome.  Mommy and I have been on the lookout for one for him for a couple of years now, unfortunately we've only been able to find chrome floor lamps with multiple heads (three to five).  Now I know where to look for items for him.

Just so you know, I plan on doing another review for CSN Stores... stay tuned for that (probably sometime within the next month or so).

Happy Thursday!

Groundhog Day Marathon on Encore

For those that don’t know it tomorrow is Groundhog Day here in the United States (and according to Wikipedia in Canada as well).  Growing up, this was my friend Brian’s favorite holiday.  Groundhog Day is, according to legend, the indicator of how long winter will last.  When the groundhog leaves his burrow that morning, if he does not see his shadow (usually because it is cloudy and overcast) then he will continue on his way and that signifies that winter will end soon.  However, if it’s a sunny day and the groundhog “sees his shadow” then he will retreat back into the burrow and we will have six more weeks of winter.

 

In celebration of Groundhog Day, Encore (a US premium television station owned by Starz) will be playing24 hours of Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray.  (Well it works out to 24 and ½ hours but I’ll let that slide).  Bill Murray plays Phil Connors, an egocentric Pittsburgh TV weatherman who, during a hated assignment covering the annual Groundhog Day event in Punxsutawney, finds himself repeating the same day over and over again. After indulging in hedonism and numerous suicide attempts, he begins to reexamine his life and priorities.

The first time I watched Groundhog Day I didn’t really like it, and then I watched it again and enjoyed it.  I think it is one of those movies that takes repeated viewings to understand some of the nuances and enjoy it.  It’s also fun to try and figure out how long Phil (Bill Murray) was stuck living the same day over and over again (how long it took him to get the gist of his gift, how long it would take to master some of the things he did, etc). 

 

Groundhog Day begins airing at Midnight Eastern and Pacific so be sure to try and catch at least one showing before the day is over.

 

Happy Tuesday and Happy (almost) Groundhog Day!